1945 versus 2000
- NCOs had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
2000 - everyone has an Internet access computer, and they wonder why no work is
1945 - we painted pictures of girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
2000 - they put the real thing in the cockpit.
1945 - your girlfriend was at home praying you would return alive.
2000 - she is in the same trench praying your condom worked.
1945 - if you got drunk off duty your buddies would take you back to the
barracks to sleep it off.
2000 - if you get drunk they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.
1945 - you were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
2000 - you spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat
because you're out of ammo.
1945 - canteens were made of steel, and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate
2000 - canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat anything in them, and they
always taste like plastic.
1945 - officers were professional soldiers first and they commanded respect.
2000 - officers are politicians first and beg not to be given a wedgie.
1945 - they collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
2000 - they collect your pee and analyze it.
1945 - if you didn't act right, the Sergeant Major put you in the brig until you
2000 - if you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.
1945 - medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
2000 - medals are awarded to people who work at headquarters.
1945 - you slept in barracks like a soldier.
2000 - you sleep in a dormitory like a college kid.
1945 - you ate in a mess hall, which was free, and you could have all the food
2000 - you eat in a dining facility, every slice of bread or pad of butter costs,
and you better not take too much.
1945 - we defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
2000 - we come up short against Iraq and Yugoslavia.
1945 - if you wanted to relax, you went to the rec center, played pool, smoked
and drank beer.
2000 - you go to the community center, and you can play pool.
1945 - if you wanted beer and conversation you went to the NCO or Officers'
2000 - the beer will cost you $2.75, membership is forced, and someone is
watching how much you drink.
1945 - the Exchange had bargains for soldiers who didn't make much money.
2000 - you can get better and cheaper merchandise at Wal-Mart.
1945 - we could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
2000 - we are wearing the Nazi helmets.
1945 - we called the enemy names like "Krauts" and "Japs"
because we didn't like them.
2000 - we call the enemy the "opposing force" or "aggressor"
because we don't want to offend them.
1945 - victory was declared when the enemy was defeated and all his things were
2000 - victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.
1945 - a commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
2000 - a commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
1945 - wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.
2000 - wars are planned by politicians with lots of equivocating.
1945 - we were fighting for freedom, and the country was committed to winning.
2000 - we don't know what we're fighting for, and the government is committed to
social programs (used to be called 'socialism').
1945 - all you could think about was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
2000 - all you can think about is getting out and becoming a civilian again
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