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Pick Up Lines
(eerder verschenen in de Bugojno Times, 20 jan 01)

  • I wish you were a door so I could bang you all night long.

  • (Lick your fingers and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

  • Nice legs ... what time do they open?

  • Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking my package.

  • You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

  • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

  • I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

  • I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?

  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

  • Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.

  • I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

  • Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

  • I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

  • Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven.

  • You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

  • Are those real?

  • Nice software!

  • You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

  • I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

  • If it's true that we are what we eat I could be you in the morning

  • (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not going to suck itself!

  • If I were you, I'd have sex with me.

  • You ... Me ... Whipped cream ... Handcuffs... Any questions?

  • Fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

  • Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

  • My name is (fill in name) ... Remember that, you'll be screaming it later!

  • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

  • Hi I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

  • My friends want to know if YOU think that I'M cute.

  • Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want

  • I know that milk does a body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking?

  • I've lost my phonenumber, can I have yours?

  • If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth we could do it in public.

  • Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

  • Baby, I'm an American Express lover ... you shouldn't go home without me.

  • Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

  • Do you wash your pants in Glassex, because I can see myself in them.

  • I lost my poppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.


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